The holidays have always been something I have looked forward to (most years). For many of us, it provides time and space to reconnect with family and friends, and appreciate the season and its message of love and hope. However, the simplicity of the season can so easily get taken from us due to the hustle and bustle as well as managing any stress, awkwardness, wounds, or loss that can be associated with both family and season. There is always something we can do to help us enjoy the holidays.

Here are few ideas from us:

Remember to have realistic expectations, don’t create a holiday in your mind that is unachievable for not just you but others. We are not all Martha Stewarts and Bing Crosbys (although I highly recommend watching White Christmas at some point with some eggnog!). You be you and allow others to do the holidays the way they see it fit. We are bombarded with media and social media messages of seeming perfection, unending merriment, and loving families – ideals that are not always reality. Try to honor your own story and embrace the moments of peace and joy along the way while not holding yourself to a standard that isn’t necessarily even true to your life or family. Revise an old tradition, create new ones, and take a step toward creating your own joy in the midst of a crazy and sometimes emotionally difficult season.

Make sure to take time to slow down. Between parties, deadlines, and family most of us actually experience more stress and anxiety instead of the warm feelings we typically associate with the holiday. With the myriad of invitations and options, choose the events that put you with the special people in your life. Your time is limited as is your energy so use it wisely!

Connect with others! For some people, Christmas can be a hard season to get through. It can remind us of people and loved ones that are no longer with us or the people that are in our lives that we no longer choose to be around, lost love or shattered dreams. For those of us that go through this type of holiday experience, remember not to stay alone. This is not the same as just faking it at parties. Spend time with people outside of the traditional holiday events and prioritize connecting with while also having space to nourish yourself and your closest loved ones.

Remember to invest a little extra time and creativity into your personal self-care (you will hear Katherine and I talk A LOT about self-care no matter the season). Go make that time at the gym count or get yourself a message, read a book, treat yourself to a nice dinner, sleep in one day, meditate, journal – you name it! Sickness is flying around during the winter season already, so grab that cup of tea and stay in with your partner, book, or Netflix favorite here and there.

And, I would be remiss not to mention this as an addiction specialist: Remember to watch your alcohol intake. For a lot of people, Christmas comes with the onslaught of family and parties. Some of us will drink in larger doses more naturally because the number of social functions increases dramatically and some of us drink more in order to be able to handle the parties and festivity, even as a numbing or social agent. Just because the libations are there does not mean they have to be consumed. Find that festive alternative like sparking water with lime or the hot chocolate and coffee bar! For those of you who are able to drink in moderation, remember to hydrate and watch your intake as well so you don’t waste a day with that dreaded holiday hangover!

The holidays don’t have to be a time of stress and anxiety. Just remember what the season is truly about…love, hope, and gratitude. Gratitude and joy are found when we sometimes least expect it especially when we don’t pretend our grieving is not present or our lives are something they are not. Hoping this season you can embrace where your own story is and find those warm moments of peace and joy within yourself and loved ones. Please feel free to leave any thoughts below in the comment section. We would love to hear from you!

From Katherine and David, we wish you the best for this Christmas and New Year!